by LP Amor Racoma (33rd Batch)
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
Psalm 103:8-10 (NIV)
What were our real intentions in joining this missionary movement? I have heard some say that they were fulfilling their promise to do so after God helped them get a license in their respective professions. But probably the most mentioned is that they want to go to the four corners of the world to tell and hasten God’s coming.
But I want to share the very reason why I joined as a missionary. In spite of the sad and bad experiences as well as great stories that I’ve heard, what really drove me is the thought that God has something for me. Yet I have to learn a lot first to be ready to play such role. I asked Him earnestly to make up my mind without any second thoughts of quitting from His service to learn a lot of and from Him.
For almost two years now, I’ve learned a lot and realized a lot. Just recently, teaching kids here for more than six months is indeed stressful yet challenging.
Stressful in the sense that I am so eager to help them learn English and prepare a lot for them, yet they are so passive and even behave terribly that I feel like going to their houses and asking their parents to stop sending their children to English class. That way, they could save their money and not waste my time. However, there are also many kids that are interested to learn.
Having these thoughts made me realize that I’m just like those kids that give me constant headache. I behave like them. Oftentimes, I’m passive in doing the task which our Father gave me, and in so doing I’m giving our Him headaches.
Yet I know that He doesn’t give up on me but He continues to teach me well until I could fully grasp the things that I need to learn. He wasn’t tired nor annoyed in listening to my pleas.
This realization made me survive. And every time they show such behavior, instead of having a bad day, I just smile and say, “Lord, please help me to be like You.”
(Amor wrote this article in the middle of her first term last year while she was serving her first mission field somewhere in Jeju-do province.)