by Elsie Mae Agad (34th Batch)
Being a missionary here in Korea is not easy for me. I felt that my self-esteem became very low. I can’t find any strong points in my life during my stay here. My surroundings, the food, and communicating with people seem to be the hardest part of my life here. I would sometimes ask myself, “Why am I here?” Or I would say, “I don’t have any use in this church.” “What am I doing here?”
I forgot that God called me to be here and that God wants to teach me something in preparation for the future. My students are the ones holding me back to stay and finish my mission here. When I’m with them, I can feel that God is using me for them even in just a simple way. And that simple way is prayer. I pray for them before my classes start and when my classes end.
One of my students is an atheist, but sometimes she’s the one who reminds me to pray first. Every time I hear it from her, my day would become so bright and deep inside, I can’t stop myself from praising God. We often use our cell phones mainly for chatting with our friends. But one day, I sent a simple message to my atheist student because it was her mom’s birthday. I just told her to extend my greetings to her mom and added a simple statement that went, “God bless you and your family.” But I didn’t know that message would make a big difference. I couldn’t imagine that they would be very grateful for that message and they responded positively and that changed my wrong decision of not finishing my mission here.
God uses people to answer our negative questions. Sometimes we forget to pray, to read God’s word, or sometimes we forget the reason of our being here. That is because we had stopped communicating with the One who called us to be here. And that is the time when Satan would attack us–during the weakest points of our lives.
Being a missionary is not an easy task, but everything will be easier because we have our great God who has always been there, providing our every need. God promised us in Matthew 6:33, that if we seek Him first, everything will be added unto us and that everything will just follow according to His will.