by Alma J. Pantaleon
This is my second year now in Haneul-Galle Church, but a couple of years prior to my assignment here, I had also served as a missionary in Sinchang Church in Asan City. Most of the time I had when I wasn’t working in Sinchang Church, I spent reading. I was really lucky that my previous pastor, Pastor Choi Byun Geun, has a library loaded with lots of English reading materials. It was a joy for me when I read his books one after the other. And it was an even greater surprise for him that I was able to read all of his 12 Ellen G. White books. I read books just to pass my time there.
But recently, I have been reading Ellen G. White’s The Great Controversy again. Now I am reading it with eagerness to learn more about the mystery and the reality of that controversy. I am also rereading it with more understanding and awareness of what lies ahead for everyone. The gnawing fear of not being in heaven was at one point eating me up when I read the pages. But by being able to also read God’s promises in the Bible gave me the assurance that there is truly hope for every sinner, including me.
I have this deep sense of commitment now to make it right with the Lord, to work for Him, and be used for His ministry here on earth. How much time we have now is uncertain so we must strive daily to accomplish the work given us.
I am aware that I wasn’t equipped with the ability to speak or the talent to preach His Gospel. But when I finally fully surrendered myself to Him, I knew He wrapped my whole being with His robe of righteousness and holiness. I also believe in His promise that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). And daily I must rest on that knowledge so that He could fully work in me–maybe not in speaking but by living a life that speaks of my God, a life that reflects His righteousness and holiness. I am not a perfect being, but it doesn’t mean I have to limit myself on what I can accomplish. It means I must not put a limit on God’s ability to use me because He will use not only me but all of us if we would only let Him.
And now, instead of fearing and worrying about not being able to be there with Him in heaven someday, we could focus more on the excitement and joy of being finally with our Maker soon. And when that time comes when He would ask me if I want to be there in that heavenly home, I would, with all the joy in my heart say, “Yes, LORD! I am going!”