By: Krystel Arvae Magro
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
The ever-loved chant “Once a missionary, always a missionary!” has been well inscribed in my every nerve and I promise to God that I will forever be His missionary for as long as I live. That is despite the fact that my term here in Korea is nearing its end.
How fast time flies!
My term, short as it seems, was filled with wonderful experiences, lessons and revelations about God, His awesomeness, His goodness and His faithfulness. These realities have been very apparent from the moment I heard His call. And having responded to that call, He subsequently revealed to me the answer to the question which had been hanging in my head, unanswered. And what a great impact did it have to me to have finally understood what used to be so vague, so difficult to understand.
During my childhood years, being the second of the five girls in the family, I must admit I had a little attitude problem. One time, I was really being stubborn with my mother and it happened with the presence of my father. When he couldn’t stand what he was hearing any longer, he interrupted angrily, “That’s the result of your mother’s attempts to get rid of you from her womb.” That was the most painful thing I’ve ever heard in my whole life. It pierced my heart. It made me feel unwanted; it made me feel unloved. Because of that, I became aloof from them. I grew up battling against insecurities with unspoken pain and unanswered questions.
Almost 3 years ago, when I heard God calling me, I responded. He then opened my heart to receive His love which my heart couldn’t contain. He also opened my mind for a greater understanding of His plan.
Even with the several attempts to get rid of me from my mother’s womb, God held me tight and did not let me go. And I know now why He did that: it’s because He loves me so much and while I was still in my mother’s womb, or perhaps even before I was conceived, He already has chosen me. And what an amazing thing to feel that my Savior, the King of the Universe chose me to work for Him and His kingdom. His love just fills me now giving no room for any grudge, any pain that used to lay hidden at the corners of my heart.
There may be times when I will be tried as I continue on this journey, but I will always remember that strong and loving hand which held me tight not to let me go when the enemy tried to get rid of me years ago. He chose me and I choose to serve my God whose love restored and saved me.